


everybody talks

by sunsetters



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Platonic Relationships, and so is the author, killua is confused, what is love between friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetters/pseuds/sunsetters
Summary: One thing that really struck me when I watched the 2011 series was the amazing relationship between the two main characters. Genuine, heartwarming, all around beautiful. Platonic and romantic feelings are a pain in the ass to figure out so why even bother.
Also, Kurapika is my mom.





	

 

It seemed that everyone had always just _assumed_.

Which was a big mistake, because as far as Killua was concerned, appearances counted for nothing. He didn't care what people thought of him and Gon, or so he thought, because after all a friendship was a friendship no matter the outward impression.

Hisoka is the first to bring it to Killua's attention, making innuendos and casting sly glances their way every few minutes. Killua thinks it's just typical gross Hisoka behaviour, and luckily Gon seems oblivious of the insinuations, only showing a faint curiosity and unease plainly on his face, which, of course, is all part of Hisoka's fun. Thankfully they don't see him for a while after Greed Island.

* * *

 

 

Next is Illumi.

"Kil, you should come back home soon. Mom misses you."

"How the _hell_  did you get my number?"

"That doesn't matter, I'm not telling you. Milluki got it. Kalluto is asking me when their brother is coming back home to play."

"That's underhanded, using Kalluto like that."

"Anyhow, you've spent enough time out there, haven't you, Kil? Frolicking around with your Gon and defeating baddies and getting beat up in return. Do you feel like a hero now?"

Killua's knuckles tighten around the phone and his fingers twist the cords round and round. His brother had always had the gift of messing with him, the knack of it.

"You're probably already forgetting the techniques I so painstakingly drilled into you," Illumi continues. "Do come back before you embarrass the Zoldycks any further."

"Shut up. The only way I'd embarrass the family is by becoming a mindless . . . f-friendless . . . killer," he says, gritting his teeth. He can feel Illumi's amused apathy. Killua's eloquence abandons him readily whenever he speaks to Illumi. It's pathetic. "And he's not _my_ Gon. So shut up."

Surprised silence on the other end of the line.

"Hello? Illumi?"

"Aren't you two - "

"What?"

"What?"

Illumi hangs up, leaving him confused and, for some reason, flustered. When Gon taps him on the shoulder from behind, Killua slams down the receiver and spills the drink he was holding.

* * *

 

 

Gon's birthday is nearing, and Killua is throwing a mini-tantrum on Leorio's sofa.

"For God's sake, if you don't know what to get him, then none of us do! Chill out, will ya?"

He lolls his head upside-down over the armrest of the sofa and glares at Leorio, drinking black coffee and studying his medical books. "That's because no one expects much from you" - " _Hey!_ " - "but I'm his best friend, so I have higher standards. I've never gotten anyone a present. What would he like?"

Leorio shrugs, annoyance clearly etched on his upside-down face. "I wouldn't know, Mr. I'm-his-best-fr - wait, what? Friend?"

Killua stares at him. "I mean, yeah, I'd be pretty sad if I went through the entire Hunter Exam and Greed Island game and everything and still didn't consider him a friend, or him me."

Leorio's mouth opens and closes like a reverse ventriloquist doll, and instead the voice whispers in his mind, tugging at a doubt that had been buried up until now. Killua grabs his ankles and heaves himself into a sitting position, facing Leorio.

"What's up, Leorio? Tell me. Everyone's been weird and sneaky whenever I mention Gon. Did I miss something?"

Leorio's eyes are bulging, although he tries to cover up by taking sips and sips of his coffee. "Nothing! Nothing. I just always thought - you - Gon - you know." He waves his hand vaguely towards Killua's direction. "Who else has been weird and . . . sneaky?"

"Hisoka and Illumi," he replies distractedly. "Now that I think of it, Bisky, Knuckle, Morel-san . . . everyone . . . "

A flush starts creeping up his neck, bringing with it warmth and warmth and warmth - it's too hot, his face is burning, and his mind doesn't work, melting.

"What am I missing? Do people think we're - " He stops. "We're - " Impossible. It's not true. Gon is his best friend, his first, but it's not just that.

"I mean, you guys are constantly together. You save each other's asses, you laugh and smile more in each other's presence - especially you, Killua" - Leorio babbles on, unaware of his inner turmoil - "so I guess people naturally assumed that you're sweet on him, or - unless it's mutual?"

Killua swings his legs under him and stands up, walks towards the door. "Shut up."

* * *

 

 

"Kurapika. Someone's here for you."

Kurapika turns, fixing up his tie and straightening his lapels. "Who?"

"I don't know, weird albino kid with scary eyes. He says he knows you."

"Oh. Thanks," Kurapika smiles, wondering what had brought Killua here. And not surprisingly, it's revealed in the first sentence of his greeting.

"Do you think I like Gon?"

"Hello, good to see you too."

Kurapika looks at Killua's painfully scarlet face and takes pity on him. "What's this about?" he asks gently. "Of course you like him, you wouldn't be friends otherwise."

"Like, _like_ like. Not as a friend. Everyone seems to think so, either that or they assume we're already together."

Kurapika leans back in his chair, lacing his fingers. "I admit, I haven't caught up with you in a long while, and yet all the same I've always been aware of a special bond between you two. Now" - he held up his hands - "don't be mad, I assumed what everyone assumed. You're close, not just emotionally but physically comfortable with each other, you risk unimaginable things for his sake, _et cetera et cetera_."

"So . . . you think it's romantic? But what does that make  _us_? Can he tell? Will he back away?"

"I don't necessarily think it's romantic. And calm down, Killua. You overthink."

Killua draws his knees up and buries his head in his arms. His heart is pounding, and with it, his entire core is shaken. He has never felt fear like this before, never. And that was ridiculous! To a former assassin! One who had faced off against Chimera Ants and other impossible odds.

"I don't want to feel like this anymore," he decides. "It's too big of a risk."

"In terms of? For you or for your friendship?"

"Both. I'm giving him too much power to hurt me if this continues, and at the same time I don't know how he'd react if he knew - don't tell, Kurapika, and don't say it won't happen because it might be the case that he" - the breath catches in his throat -

"runs away."

There is a pause while Kurapika studies him intently while Killua struggles to catch his breath. Sweat forms at the back of his neck and rolls down, ice cold, off his back.

"Killua."

"What?"

"What I'm about to say are what I truly feel to be right, and if some of it is going out on a limb you can correct me."

" . . . Okay."

  
Kurapika speaks, and his voice is quiet and low.

"I don't know your family well, but from what I gather, you've had a childhood that scarred you. You don't open up naturally because it's in your training to distrust, to analyze and get rid of the risks. With Gon it's different because he's so difficult to grasp the risks of. You can't analyze him because he can't be analyzed.

"So you open yourself up, and in return what you get is friendship in its best form. You two complement each other like friends do, and reach new heights together. Your brother once said you can't categorize Gon because he's too dazzling for you - and I hate to say this but I agree. Your first friend, and you've gone to the depths of hell and beyond with him, for him. That kind of love can't be pigeonholed into either platonic or romantic love, it just is.

"Wake up, Killua. You'll be giving him power to hurt you if you love romantically? And you don't think he has the power already, and you think you don't have the power to do the same? He won't run away, and he can't, because doing so will hurt him as much as it hurts you."

Killua clenches his fists. He thinks back to Neferpitou, the reckless abandon with which Gon attacked her, not caring if his life and Nen left him forever, not caring, in short, if he left Killua.

"You don't understand. He's so willing to give me up."

Kurapika huffs out a laugh. "Well, I didn't say he was smart. Things done in the heat of anger - "

"It was selfish!" A tear rolls off his cheek and chin.

"We all have our flaws. Whether you accept it is up to you."

The door opens; the sound and light that pours through is so startling that both Kurapika and Killua jump a little in their seats. Gon peeks his head through.

"Kurapika, have you seen - oh, there you are! What are you guys doing in here?"

Killua turns his face away and rubs angrily at his chin.

"Killua?" Gon looks between Kurapika and Killua. "What's wrong?"

Kurapika gets up and walks to the door. "Whether you accept it is up to you."

"Huh? - oh!" Gon, nudged forward by Kurapika, steps into the room and the door closes as the two are left alone.

 

Killua takes a good look at Gon - the creases of worry around his eyes, the soft eyes, the mouth, so ready to smile. His heartbeat has not calmed down, and even now his breath is short and he blinks fast. To him, Gon represents all he's ever wanted: freedom and love. The first ever risk he'd taken with trust, and it had been paid back in full, over and over. It's something about the other boy, the feeling he's always longed for since leaving his home - the feeling of adventure - which he loves enough to trust in.

Did that mean romance? Did it matter?

He took a deep breath. "I want an apology. And a promise."

* * *

 

 

Everyone just  _assumed_. But Killua didn't mind, because after all everybody talks.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> One thing that really struck me when I watched the 2011 series was the amazing relationship between the two main characters. Genuine, heartwarming, all around beautiful. Platonic and romantic feelings are a pain in the ass to figure out so why even bother.
> 
> Also, Kurapika is my mom.


End file.
